Hi there good people, Equal Rites is my swan-song before Stronghold II arrives, and to celebrate Equal Rites promises to be an excellent journey that will keep even the most apt players bamboozeled but enthralled. I've spent quite some time play testing and i'm pretty happy with how the scenario plays out. Anyone wishing to review Equal Rites will be most welcome...
Hope the Stronghold community is alive and well,
best regards. Andy.
An extract from Timmy’s diary: The naked truth!
The battle at Guerilla’s Point destroyed the last remaining fragments of Earl Andrew’s beloved county. His once proud domineering castle that overlooked the clean unpolluted sea was no more than a graveyard of stone, an unfortunate eerie reminder of a by-gone day when free spirit was the tonic for every man, woman and child……Hold on, In fact, (come to think of it) it was this very ‘free’ spirit, the imported psychosis inducing Russian Vodka, Mother’s Ruin (gin) and Nigel’s own special brew that led to the inevitable demise of Alcoholic Earl Andrew and his beloved county!
Those who knew him were quite fond of him really, generous with the wet stuff and a lot of fun with a pigs bladder, Andrew was a nice guy and people liked him, I thought well of him too – but he sadly lacked ingenuity and all the demanding traits required to lead a County. These very traits long forgotten, left behind in some responsible sober past.
Looking back; By 1193 Guerilla’s Point County was a hive of beer swilling teenagers and cocktail loving adults, it was a crazy year in the County; people were insane idiots for the most part, competing in drunken games to win the respect of the Earl. I never understood the fascination of such games personally and kept a low profile…. It wasn’t uncommon to hear fellow peasants rejoicing Sex on the Beach as the new drink of Kings, tuh, mental idiots! Earl Andrew whose own palette leaned towards the more powerful stuff was a slobbering wreck! Unfit to command his army and more disturbing unable to hold his own liquid, he was on top of the slippery slope down and by his own generous contribution it was indeed becoming an unnecessarily more slippery one!
In the cold light of day the reality of life in the castle was pretty bleak. I was hungry and cold and the pitch black darkness of the night only disguised the mess that had been created. The whole County was in a bad state, living conditions deteriorated monthly and disease was prevalent! How it makes sense that the people turned to alcohol for comfort!.... It’s true that Guerilla’s Point before the attack was the smelliest and most laughed about County in the whole of England….and I bloody well lived there! Honestly, at its height the stench could cut the air into pieces and to this day when I gaze over these prison walls and see the castle no more than rubble – I can still take in an unsuspecting waft of reality, can there really be any more injustice? To be fair there was no surprise in the decision my captors made to camp away from what was the old castle. I guess i could say they have a nose for these things.
(1194) a year before the attack, Guerilla’s Point reached seemingly new levels of comedy, whilst most leaders of the major 8 counties ( C8 ) were making provisions and weapons for the King, Earl Andrew spent his energies inventing party games for his people. The popular past time of testicle cricket became a real favourite in the castle and alongside vomit catching and hair burning life in the castle was a real blast.
And so it was, the stupid antics of Andrew soon reached the ears of the most cunning and evil villain in the land - known to many a bandit as Pork Chop, he saw a real advantage in occupying Guerilla’s Point County. By June that year Pork Chop moved in with his army of loyal soldiers destroying and killing everything in their path. – It was rumoured that even the stumps for testicle cricket were savagely burned. Pork Chop never one to miss a detail. I was very lucky in the battle that commenced and alongside other engineers we were all detained for questioning. And so this is where I remain to write this diary. In a prison that smells of vomit and piss….nice.
Fortunately and most lucky for the Earl, a business trip had had lured him away from the castle whilst the invasion took place. The promise of 3 kegs of French liquor saving what would have been his bloody death. I know the Earl will back soon, and the only chance I have for survival rests with him! God help me!
Timmy chief engineer. January 1195
On return to Guerillas Point, Earl Andrew armed with a few troops that accompanied his journey (and of course the 3 kegs of French liquor) witnessed the extent of destruction that had occurred in his absence. With his home demolished, a new unwelcome neighbour and a deep burning rage festering inside, he solemnly vowed to exact revenge for this act evil!
Is it blind drunken madness to get revenge? Or is it an overwhelming feeling of morality - to do the right thing? Is Andrew up to the challenge? Is tiny Timmy worth saving? Who cares! Just become Andrew, leave his incontinence behind and fight for the land!
Objectives: Become Andrew, Earl of Guerilla’s Point County.
Destroy all of Pork Chop’s military units!
Get 90% Drunk
Achieve a Population of 24
Eliminate the wolves.
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